The Smoke That Thunders

The locals call Victoria Falls “Mosi oa Tunya” – The Smoke that Thunders. It’s well named too because at peak flow in May/June the spray rise three hundred metres or more, and looks for all the world like a huge plum of white smoke. It can be seen from miles away and is pointed out by the airline pilots on their final approach to either Livingstone or Victoria Falls airport.

The Zambezi River plunges into a deep gorge and forms a spectacular demarcation between Zimbabwe and Zambia or for those of you old enough to remember – Southern and Northern Rhodesia. The falls are best seen from the Zimbabwe side, especially towards the end of the dry season in September/October when pretty much all you’ll see from Zambia is the dry gorge wall. In May and June there can be sooooo much water that you might as well be standing in a tropical thunderstorm. It is incredible, you would not get any wetter if you actually fell into the Zambezi. Fortunately you can hire wet weather gear at the entrance to Victoria Falls National Park and the tour operators will usually supply it free of charge, though it can be a bit smelly.

There’s heaps of stuff to do there apart from admiring the falls. You can take an elephant-back safari, walk through the bush with lion cubs or have a seriously fattening high tea at the historical Victoria Falls Hotel. Then for those of you who are of somewhat doubtful sanity there is bungee jumping from the Victoria Falls bridge, grade five white water rafting and ultra-light aircraft flights over the falls. Call me a chicken if you like but there’s no way you’ll get me into something that both looks and sounds like a lawn mower with wings. Anyway, if you like flying lawnmowers its there for you. Personally I prefer the more conventional “Flight of Angels” in a helicopter.

Then there’s canoeing, game drives, game walks, day drips to Chobe, the list goes on.
Sunset cruises on the Zambezi are a great way to spend a couple of lazy hours. You drift down the river on any one of a couple of dozen vessels of varying size, all the while being plied with finger food and beer or wine. You watch the sunset – invariably a stunning show in this part of the world, and you observe the elephants bathing in the shallows and the hippos wiggling their ears with just their heads protruding from the water. There are crocodiles here too – big ones, up to seven metres in length. It is estimated that there is one every ten metres in this part of the river.

Many of the lodges have other activities and cultural shows that you can attend too, and one of my favourites – The Victoria Falls Safari Lodge on the Zimbabwe side has vulture feeding every day at one ’o’ clock. The vultures know it too. At twelve thirty hundreds of them can be seen spiralling on the thermals near the lodge. Hundreds more can be seen perched in nearby trees – all looking at their watches and waiting for their lunch. Then at the appointed hour one of the lodge’s guides appears with a chopped up sheep carcass and all hell breaks loose in a flurry of beating wings and a thick cloud of dust. One word of advice – don’t get too close, or if you do at least take an umbrella if you get my drift.

3 nights in at Victoria Falls Safari Lodge from $AU620.00 per person twin share.Price Includes: 3 nights accommodation, all transfers; breakfast daily, sunset cruise, dinner at the Boma and dinner in the Mukuwa-Kuwa restaurant in Victoria Falls.

For more information call Peter Emery at 0449 689 447

Loitering Within Tent

For the last twenty years I've seen camping as something about as enjoyable as a visit to the dentist. All that fiddling with tent poles, pegs and ropes makes my blood run cold and I always seem to have a couple of bits left over once the tent is erected, which worries me so much that I can't get to sleep - even in the unlikely event that I manage to find a comfortable, rock free spot to lie on.

Then there's the cooking. Why is that camp fires take several hours to boil a pot of water and only about thirty seconds to turn a plump pink sausage to charcoal? Amazing isn't it?

That's why I loved my recent Wilderness Dawning "Best of Botswana" tour. Sure it's camping, but it's camping with the painful bits removed. Each evening you arrive at your beautiful bush camp and are welcomed by a blazing fire. Your 3 x 3 metre tents are already set up complete with camp beds, sheets, blankets, soft pillows and a warm, fluffy duvet. There are proper pedestal toilets and hot bucket showers, and best of all your dinner is being cooked for you. All you have to do is sit around the fire with a glass of your favourite 12 year old single malt and talk about the day's experiences. You don't even have to wash up. Now that's camping!

Your day starts at 5.45am with a cheery "Good morning" as the camp attendant pours steaming hot water into the canvas basis outside your tent. Toast and coffee around the fire follows and then you're off on a 3 to 4 hour game drive. A hot brunch is served when you return and the afternoon is yours to do whatever you wish - sleep, read, wash out your socks..........

Coffee and biscuits are served at about 3pm and then you're off on the afternoon game drive for a couple of hours. Meanwhile back at camp the chef is preparing your dinner for when you return. It's a rhythm you soon get used to and although it's a delicious treat to have a hot bath in a hotel at the end of the trip and to sleep in a proper bed, you find that you miss the mysterious night noises of the bush and the peaceful early morning cup of coffee around a crackling log fire.


Wilderness Dawning's 14 day "Best of Botswana" tour starts from $US2975 per person twin share. Their 10 day "Highlights of Botswana" tour starts from $US2600 per person twin share.

For more details contact Peter Emery at Ucango Travel on
0449 689 447 or email peter.emery@ucango.com.au.

The Lion, The Ditch and The Warthog

Nothing gives you a squirt of adrenalin like a close encounter with a lion. Its a visceral thing and must come from something buried deep in our DNA, something that harks back to a time before early humanity departed the great plains of East Africa - a time when ancient mankind spent his days hunting and gathering and waiting for McDonalds to open.

One morning while driving in Tanzania's Serengeti we encountered a large male lion laying in some long grass next to a drainage ditch. He regarded us with a sort of arrogant boredom, his massive head resting on his front paws, the breeze tugging at his impressive mane. He knew that we were no threat and that we weren't lunch, at least as long as we remained inside the vehicle.

We sat there watching him watching us for a few minutes and then we noticed a female warthog approaching. Now some people think they're ugly things (usually people who haven't looked in the mirror themselves lately), but I think they're very cute. I love the way they raise their spindly tails like car radio aerials and trot off when they're alarmed.

Now this particular warthog looked a little confused. From her angle of approach she couldn't yet see the lion, but she could evidently smell that something wasn't quite right because she stopped dead in her tracks and then abruptly changed direction, trotting towards some reeds which grew in the water in the drainage ditch. She was twenty-five metres from the lion when he saw her. We could see that he was interested, but wasn't convinced that he'd be able to catch her. He stood and stretched lazily and sauntered over to the reeds into which the warthog had by now disappeared.

Suddenly the warthog saw the lion and panicked (understandably). She leapt into some deeper water and started swimming. However, she made the fatal error of swimming too close to a low stone bridge that crossed the ditch. Suddenly in a terrifying display of explosive speed and power, the lion saw her break the cover of the reeds and charged onto the bridge kicking up great clouds of dust with his massive paws and emitting deep guttural grunts.

Then he simply reached down from the bridge and plucked the squealing, 40kg warthog from the water with one paw. In a second his jaws were clamped on her throat and two minutes later the warthog was dead and being dragged under the cover of a tree to be hidden from the telescopic sight of patrolling vultures.

We sat in the vehicle, a little stunned and light-headed, our hearts pounding. Watching a kill does that to you. I always find myself torn between wanting the predator to get its meal (Heaven knows its hard enough for them.) and wanting the victim to escape.

Now I must apologise. For the next three weeks there will be no new blogs. I'll be camping in Botswana. I know. It's a tough assignment, but someone has to do it. My next blog will appear on Friday 25 June. At least I should have plenty to talk about.

Meanwhile I thought I'd let you in on a little story told to me by one of the guides at Impodimo Lodge in the Madikwe Game Reserve, South Africa.

Two Kruger game rangers had been given the the unenviable job of tracking down an injured lion. Before the left they were checking through their equipment.

Rifle - check.
Ammo - check.
Radio - check
Water - check.
Running shoes...............

"Running shoes?" Exclaimed the other ranger. "What do you want running shoes for? There's no way you'll be able to outrun a lion."

"I don't need to outrun the lion," grinned the first ranger. "I just need to outrun you."

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Africa's Steamy Armpit

Arriving in Lome (pronounced Lowmay) on a moonless May night on a flight from northern Europe is a bit of a shock. It’s the sort of shock you would get if somebody crept up behind you and threw a hot, wet towel over your head. To say that Lome humid is like saying the Simpson Desert sometimes gets a little warm.

Lome is the capital city of Togo, a tiny sliver of a country wedged uncomfortably in West Africa’s steamy armpit between Ghana and Benin. I was there to join a Guerba Adventures Trans Sahara expedition across the Sahel and Sahara Desert to Tunis via Timbuktu. In a moment of youthful insanity I’d booked the trip for the hottest time of the year because I wanted to experience that part of Africa at its most extreme, but more of that in a later blog.

For now I was just relieved to be met by David, our guide who ushered me out of the teeming airport terminal to the specially modified four ton Bedford truck in which we would be making the journey along with thirteen other paying passengers who had already arrived and hopefully were occupying themselves back at the campsite by cooking my dinner.

There’s an old saying – “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” However, in this case it began with David having to round up several locals because our truck was blocked in by two battered Renault Fours, one six inches from the front bumper, the other six inches from the rear. Twenty minutes later, dripping with sweat and uttering profanities we’d bounced the Renaults far enough to allow David to Squeeze the big Bedford out.

The camp for that first night was set up on Lome beach and once I’d arrived and met my fellow travelers I discovered that they had indeed made my dinner and the woman who handed me my steaming plate of vegetable curry was my wife, though neither of us yet knew it.

Only Food Runs

“Hey, donkey! Get off my land. I’m an ogre.” Bernard’s Shrek impression was flawless, right down to the Scottish accent. It did however come as a bit of a surprise. Not just because Bernard was a Zulu, but also because he was leading us on a rhino walk through a private game concession in the Kruger National Park at the time. He was our guide at Plains Camp and took care of the day to day running of that particular facility. It had just four large, luxurious tents, a dining tent and a lounge tent filled with Edwardian memorabilia. As the name suggests, it is situated on the edge of a plain where one can sit in the lounge, resting your glass of single malt on the arm of the chair while watching a herd of elephants trundling across the open grassland.

Bernard also leads walks into the bush, ably assisted by Ozzie – another, altogether rounder Zulu. The whole operation is called “Rhino Walking Safaris”. Each morning we’d leave camp, Bernard leading the way and Ozzie bringing up the rear, both armed with very serious looking rifles. In Bernard’s pre-walk safety instructions he explains. “I don’t shoot the animals, but if you see a lion and you run I will shoot you.” Of course he’s right – in this part of the world only food runs and being shot would be more humane than being chased down and consumed by a large feline.

And so we walked. The quieter moments were punctuated by Bernard’s Shrek impressions. “Shrek,” he explained, “is my four year old daughter’s favourite movie.” However, I had the distinct impression that it was really his. I could imagine his little girl groaning when Bernard pulled out the Shrek DVD for the umpteenth time. “Oh Jeez Dad. Please, not Shrek again! Why can’t we watch Saving Private Ryan or something?”

In any case, despite Bernard’s eccentricity we found our rhino – a female white rhino. With enormous care and professionalism Bernard and Ozzie guided us to a spot behind a large fallen tree, not ten metres from the huge animal which continued to graze contentedly, seemingly unaware of our presence. Photos taken we backed quietly away and continued our walk, Ozzie rolling his eyes and pointing to his head with a circular motion of his finger whenever Bernard burst into Shrek mode.

Later that evening we sat around a blazing fire looking for shooting stars and listening to the cackling of a clan of hyenas just beyond the firelight. It was a romantic moment. I reached over and squeezed my wife's hand. Then, from somewhere out there in the darkness - "Hey Donkey! Get off my land..........."

Rhino Walking Safaris lies in the Kruger National Park, the largest game reserve in South Africa, and offers an unrivalled wilderness and wildlife experience.



Rhino Walking Safaris With its two camps, Plains Camp and Rhino Post Safari Lodge, it provides a range of accommodation options in the midst of a spectacular landscape. Comfortable explorer-style tents and elegant, environmentally friendly suites combine home comforts with an authentic pioneer tradition and the serenity of bygone days.

With several expertly organized trails that cater for every need, Rhino Walking Safaris visitors can enjoy a tailor-made experience of the amazing wildlife and landscape of South Africa.

For more information phone 0449 689 447
or email peter.emery@ucango.com.au

Leopards Galore

There is a little known private game reserve called Mashatu. It lies just inside Botswana, across the Limpopo River which forms the border with South Africa in that part of the world. It is the place to see leopards, particularly in September and October when statistically you have a 94% chance of seeing these usually elusive big cats. The reserve is owned and run by Rattray Reserves who also run the more famous Mala Mala Lodge in the Sabi Sands area adjacent to the Kruger National Park, and here’s the good news. It’s a mere fraction of what you would pay for a night at Mala Mala, Sabi Sabi, Singita or Londolozi – better known “leopard viewing” lodges.

The reserve is a massive twenty five thousand hectares, and the best thing of all is that there are only 2 lodges – the main camp and the tented camp, that’s a maximum of forty eight guests total in the two camps, even if they’re full. That’s two guests per thousand hectares, no wonder you hardly ever see another vehicle on the game drives. You don’t even have to share your leopard sighting.

One gets to Mashatu either by driving 6 hours from Johannesburg or by flying to Polokwane and then taking a road transfer from there to the Pont Drift border crossing. Or you could hire a car and drive yourself, often a cheaper option, even if you don’t use the car for the few days you spend at Mashatu. From Polokwane it’s a two hour drive on an excellent road to Pont Drift. There the south African/Botswana border formalities are efficient and friendly, especially by African standards. You leave your vehicle (if you’ve hired one) in a secure compound on the South African side and you’re then met on the Botswana side by a driver from Mashatu.

In the dry season you simply drive across the dry Limpopo River bed, but in the wet, when the river is flowing deep and fast you and your luggage are loaded into a small cable car and are winched across the river. A couple of years ago they had to tighten the cables because they sagged so much that the passengers in the cable car were getting their feet wet. It’s all good fun, and part of the adventure. Anyway, there’s also an airstrip at Mashatu so you could always fly in, but where’s the fun in that?

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Khaki Fever

I really admire African game rangers. Having said that I should reassure my wife that I have not come down with Khaki fever – an unfortunate affliction which makes game lodge guests (mostly female, but not exclusively) fall headlong in love with their guide. It doesn’t matter that the object of their affection resembles the favourite in a Quasimodo look-alike contest or that he has the personality of a clam. As long as he’s wearing khaki, can recite the gestation period of a warthog, ( 160-170 days for those of you who are interested) and can instantly recognise the dung of a giraffe. (It’s surprisingly small by the way.) Jealous? Me? No, I’m always this attractive shade of green.

In truth these guides are an admirable breed, well trained, professional and totally dedicated to educating their guests about the wildlife and its habitat. They certainly don’t do the job for the money. Actually they have to put up with quite a lot. For example at many lodges if their guests want to stay up drinking at the bar until 4.30am the ranger has to stay with them to escort them back to their accommodation and ensure that some unfortunate leopard doesn’t die of alcohol poisoning when it eats one of them. Then there are the stupid questions. “Which animals get mad when you take their photo?” was one that I heard. And “Do those tiny rhinos (she meant warthogs) breed with the really big ones?”

I recently stayed at a lodge in the Madikwe Game Reserve in South Africa. Here there was a direct telephone link between the guest rooms and their guide’s quarters. My guide Andre was telling me that he’d once escorted a guest back to his room after one of the afore mentioned drinking sessions and had just climbed into his own bed when he received a call from his inebriated guest. “I’ve just pulled my curtains back to look out and there’s a leopard staring at me.” The caller said.
“Is it outside?” Asked Andre thinking that it was a figment of the guests alcohol addled imagination.
“I think so.” Said the caller.
“Well, look again and if you’re sure it’s outside draw the curtains and go to bed.” The next morning, out of interest Andre checked around the guest’s room and sure enough found several large, fresh pug marks in the sandy soil.

All I’m saying is be nice to your guide or ranger, they really do know their stuff and if you listen to them they’ll turn a good safari into a fantastic, life changing experience. Oh, and tip them well.



Kariega Game Reserve is an internationally renowned “Big-5” private game reserve situated in the Eastern Cape, near Port Elizabeth – a natural extension to Cape Town and the Garden Route.

The 9000 hectare reserve is malaria-free with an expansive variety of game and birdlife and dramatic views, vistas and landscape.
Kariega is family owned and operated and offers guests a truly memorable African experience, unforgettable game viewing and a uniquely intimate experience with the wilderness that revives the heart and inspires the soul.

For more information call 0449 689 447 or email peter.emery@ucango.com.au